Encapsulated Delusion
"Reasoning is destroyed when the mind is bewildered. One falls down when reasoning is destroyed"
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.
If an earthquake or another tsunami coming tomorrow, at least I thank God I write this today ;)

There are tons of people that really mean a lot to me.
I don't think I could mention all here in this post..

This is yessa syahrazad. He was my classmate since grade 7. I shared a lot of stories and I guess rya and him are my biggest secret keeper ever. Oh, yeah, he teased me a lot.

Well, another picture of you, Roberlin. hehehe..you're my source of joy and happiness these days. Thank you for being there and your willingness to hear my comments everyday.

Ah, and these girls. Bilmi, Lidya, Maya, Nana and of course Rika (I'm sorry Rik, you're not in this picture). You guys been a very good friend of mine. Remembering every moment we shared in high school, my house, lidya's house, pasar tebet, plaza senayan, cheesecake factory, sari salon, etc. I miss those good old times

Housemates back then when we're new in Taylor's. You guys taught me a lesson I will not forget. Ellyn, Shirley, Pita and Julan. Thank you for every feedback you gave me. Thank you for your patience, it means a lot.

And of course my wonderful course mate. It's been 2.5 years and we're graduating soon. Selina, Leroy, Cheryl, Rena, Dian, Resa, Mbak Novi, Melisa, Sammy, Stephanie, Sabrina, Kean Foong, Alfonsius, my original batch and also seniors and juniors. You guys rocks. Selina and Leroy, thank you for 'temani me here and there, not teman dalam senang saja'. Cheryl thank you for listening to our fave topic, sluts =). Rena thank you for hosting me in Mallaca and your 'its okay, take your time'. Dian for your patience in everything, you are a great friend. Resa for your critics, which show me that there's still someone who cares about me. Mbak Novi for showing me that eagerness of studying. Melisa for the talks we have sometimes. Sabrina, Sammy and Stephanie for your hard work. and Alfonsius for the videos. hahaha...I love you all, and sorry for being the source of noise in class. Don't worry, after next semester, you guys won't hear it anymore..

Astri and Vivi, my old housemates. I'm sorry for forcing you guys to go to Langkawi hihihi. I still feel guilty. Astri, thank you so much for our girls session back then, our good trips and stuff.

Apart from them, these guys also mean a lot to me:
Adjie, Adit, Adrian, Randy, Indra, and the list goes on until the next sun rises.

"May there always be work for your hands to do, may your purse always hold a coin or two. May the sun always shine on your windowpane, may a rainbow be certain to follow each rain. May the hand of a friend always be near you, may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you."
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Cookies, anyone?
I've been thinking quite a lot lately. I have bunch of unanswered questions in my head. The biggest one recently is 'what do I want to do with my life?'. Next year hopefully I will finished my degree. So, what's next? My parents offered me two or even three choices: continue my master degree, go for a youth exchange program or simply just find a job.

First option is quite tempting. I'm certainly not ready to go to work everyday. But then, another 1,5 years of studying? Uh oh, I can see boredom coming along the way. Secondly, the youth exchange. Well, I will be competing with so many candidates from all over Indonesia. Thus, I have small chance, but no harm in trying I think. And last one, find a job. Big problem. I am so not ready for a job. Well, we'll see where my thought will lead me to.

If I could, I would like to go back to my childhood phase of life. It was wonderful time, I remember. Life was so enjoyable, unlike now where problems and troubles annoyed me all the time. I barely understand myself, leave alone my friends and family. I am trapped into the drama of my life, without knowing how to release myself from it. I turned into a more complicated person, full of jealousy, egocentric and sadly, too sensitive as well. I took others' words too seriously, until sometimes what they meant as a joke became a nightmare for me. I became this disaster for others and myself as well. I remember I was complaining about my life to my mother. She said I should have thank God for whatever I had and have now and treat others' without expecting the same feedback. Because it does not work that way. You do what you can do to others because you love them, not because you want something out of it.

Today ellyn gave me a bookmark with a saying in it. It says "Some people pass through this world and leave it just as they found it. But people like you take time to do special things that make the world more beautiful". Will I be able to do it? I will :), after all I still have faith in myself.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
According to the shit...
I'm 2: The Helper

You always put on a happy face and try to help those around you.
You're incredibly empathetic and care about everyone you know.

Able to see the good in others, you're thoughtful, warm, and sincere.
You connect with people who are charming and charismatic.

At Your Best: You are deeply giving, altruistic, and humble. You devote your life to others while caring for yourself too.

At Your Worst: You are manipulative and enjoy making other people guilty.

Your Fixation: Rejection

Your Primary Fear: Being unworthy of love

Your Primary Desire: To be loved unconditionally

Other Number 2's: Mother Teresa, John Travolta, Princess Diana, Dr. Phil, and Mr. Rogers.